Are you happy?

Sorry for not updating this blog for such a long time! I just dont have the motivation to blog, perhaps i am just too tired. Not that mentally tired, it's my body which is really feeling the heat. LOL. So why am i here today? Recently, i finally realised how much my friends meant to me or rather how much i meant to them.

P/s: I'm not directing this to anyone. Don't judge me.

I really starts to wonder if my friends are my friends. Something is just not right and i've no idea what it is. I literally felt that the friends i hang out with are just people that i talk to only in school and most are just hi-bye friends. None i could share my feelings to, perhaps a few but i don't even know if they talk behind my back. I have to make sure i don't say anything wrongly or someone will be piss, this shows that it's ain't a friendship. Isn't friends are for playing and fooling around? Isn't that what friends are for? If one day you realised you have to please your friends in order to maintain a friendship, that's when you know you don't mean anything to them and this friendship is just purely a title, nothing worth to brag or treasure about. Btw, i repeat i'm not directing this to anyone, it's just my thoughts. To be depressed is to be lonely, to be with friends is to be happy, what an irony. I felt like i'm just an outcast. LOL, not that i'm facing a friendship problem, just that i've to say all this out to make me feels better. Also, i don't have the cheek to say that i'm a great friend but at least i won't fake a smile and put up a facade and act as if i'm good to a certain person yet backstab him/her at the same time. No i'm not, if you are, you're just a fucking hypocrite. You don't have to bring down others to be closer with your friends. At the end of the day, what i really wish is just having a bunch of good buddies that i could hang out with and chill out. What will the world be if there are lesser hypocrites and fake people? Life might be better.